I am fat. F-A-T. I’m extremely aware of what I am. I deal with my body’s restrictions daily. Why do people feel the need to point it out that I have a weight problem? That’s just hurtful. I do not need your diet tips or the latest exercise plan. And guess what, you can’t do this for me. But what you are doing with your good intentions is hurting me emotionally. Sure your hurtful words might motivate me for a night of extreme cardio for all the wrong reasons. I will combat the advise you gave me with the “I’ll show them attitude”. But it’s nothing that will last.
My body hurts. I’m dragging around a lot of extra weight. I feel like it’s a double edge sword. Exercise will help me feel better, but it doesn’t while I’m doing it. I’ve abused my body and now my body is abusing back. Every step shots pain through my ankles all the way to my hips. My feet are swollen and not comfortable to stand on. But they say it will make me feel better. When?
I’m left with a decision of which pain to endure. Can I handle the emotional pain of other’s opinions and the disappointment in myself? Or can I power through the physical pain to begin to get my strength back? I think it’s an obvious choice. Temporary physical pain is better then permanent emotional pain. This is what has brought me back.
I’ve been obsessed with watching What I eat in a Day video’s on youtube for inspiration. I’ve got to hold myself accountable for my eating discipline. My mindset has changed to “I’m going to do that” instead of “I wish I could do that”. I can’t be successful until I try. After all the biggest failure is not trying.
Have a happy and healthy weekend!
Love,
Bona
thebonaproject 